Somewhere, somehow the western church seems to have this insane, unbiblical view of prayer. Essentially, it is to say something that sounds nice and sweet and flowery to impress the people that are around because obviously God doesn't really answer prayer very much nowadays. I mean, maybe he might, but one shouldn't get there hopes up.
Nothing could be more against God's Word. The Bible condemned the Pharisees that only prayed as a performance to look good in front of others. Real prayer, real intercession is to talk to the living God who made heaven and earth and then to have Him come in contact with those that we are praying for. Prayer is at its best when the one who is praying connects the one who is being prayed for to the Lord. And this can only happen by the Spirit.
That being said, it is still our part to cooperate with the Spirit. The more one enters into intercession the more one learns by the Spirit. I think a truly biblical concept is fervency. Throughout the Word of God fervency is emphasized over and over again in prayer. Hannah, in the OT was so fervent that people thought she was drunk and words were no longer even coming out of her mouth. Anna, also has that same word describing her in Luke. Unfortunately, the American Bible does a poor job of translating the Greek word, deesis. It gets translated as prayer or supplication or entreaties, but the word can be defined as "seeking, asking, entreating, entreaty to God or to man." This is no casual prayer we are talking about. One who is in fervency yearns and pleads their prayers before God. They don't give up. They remind Him of His promises. They shut off the voices in their lives that are doubt and unbelief. They saturate themselves in the Word of God since Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. And they fervently seek until they experience that release in their Spirit that that prayer burden has been answered.
What one needs to realize is that true intercession takes hold. It reminds God of His promises. Reminds Him that He is faithful. It pleads based off of His glory not one's own ease. It is intensely purifying to the heart because it causes one's motives to line up with the truth and it is done in the only place where the heart can be cleansed - the presence of the Lord.
When one gets a taste for true intercession, nothing really matters. They get a hunger for Him and nothing else can satisfy. It transforms relationships because as one seeks to connect another with the Lord, the relationship no longer becomes about the other affirming, accepting, validating, giving, etc. to me, but becomes how I can best help them in the Lord. True intercession by the power of the Spirit is something that purifies one from the inside out.
The problem is that before one can get into the presence of the Lord, one needs to toss off the things of this world. How can the Spirit fully pray through someone that is squelching the Spirit's power in their life by living in habitual sin and worldliness? How can the Spirit possibly consume someone when they have very little relationship with the Lord? Truly, there has to be radical surrender of control and worldliness from one's life. One truly becomes only a steward with Him in the area of control since He is in charge.
Before one can get into the Holy of Holies to do intercession there first needs to be repentance of sin. Unfortunately, many Christians view that this is the extent of the Christian's prayer life. Consequently, prayer becomes something one dreads rather than the place where they meet the living God. When prayer ceases to be lists and confessional and starts to become passionate pursuit of the living God, is when prayer starts to become one's life instead of something that someone feels they are just supposed to do.
Forceful men take hold of the kingdom of God (Matt. 11:12). Those that don't back down. That won't give up. That don't just give up in prayer if they don't feel a spark in the first half hour. We are instructed to boldly come before the thrown of grace. If it takes me all night, I NEED to meet the Lord in prayer. And what one finds is that if they are truly willing to wait as long as necessary for the presence of God, they probably won't be waiting that long. And that's when they find peace from the fear, God's blessings, enablement to live the Christian life, heart transformation, healing, etc. Its in His presence. All of the things advertised about the Christian life are found IN CHRIST. As we become more and more consumed in Him and all of the misplaced desire that causes one to go to things that don't satisfy are now refocused on Him - the only One that does satisfy, is when life becomes everything that Christians advertise it to be but don't explain how to get it. And its only in His presence.
If you are interested in an extremely sweet prayer book, I recommend Mighty Prevailing Prayer by Wesley Duewel. God used it to change my life back when I had cancer. You will not be disappointed as it will lead you right into the throne room.
Edit: I said this in a comment, but I'll repeat.
Personally, I want to make one thing abundantly clear. I think it is very easy to presuppose things that oneself has done on to others. Since in my pre-cancer years, I used to, and still am perfectly capable of doing it again, of praying to get attention in the manner that I condemned as Pharisaical. I was in no means trying to bash people who are simply trying to pray publicly and simply try to repeat what they see others do. Rather, I was coming against the idea of praying simply to get others attention, like the Pharisees did.
God bless!
