Observations

It seems most people aren't really living. They are just kinda floating around. Going from one fun thing to another. Trying to cram all of the happiness they can into life. Which will only cause them to be depressed. Because there is no fulfillment. There is no purpose. They spend their lives always looking forward to something, never truly appreciating what they already have. And when they get to that something, it is either never as good as there mind made it out to be or it is over so quickly. So they spend their lives thinking this or that will bring happiness, but when it comes they are more discontented than before. And then they try to pursue stuff or people to give them the significence and self esteem or self worth that that they lack. So they wander around aimlessly in life looking for someone or something to come along and show them that they have what it takes. That they are valuable. But stuff and people won't do that. Stuff and people CAN'T do that. That's why money doesn't equal happiness.

Life was meant to be lived by acting. On offense. Not reacting on defense. Life was meant to be made the most of. But not for self. Because that is empty. The only fulfillment, true fulfillment is found in a life so intertwined with the Lord that he starts to show you what to do and not to. How to seize situations rather than passively let things slip away.

Well, that's what's currently going through my mind.

Breaking out of bondage

I think there is a spiritual and physical part to bondages. Let's delve into this...

Lighthouse (www.lighthouseministryintl.org), Neil T. Anderson (freedom in Christ ministries), and others have deliverance ministries that literally take authority over the stronghold, command it to leave in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and renounce it. I have seen in others and personally experienced complete freedom in an area that had been previously a struggle or bondage. This breaks the spiritual part of the bondage. However, there still can be underlying emotional issues. A.A. calls these issues triggers. Things like rejection, fear, loneliness, hurt, etc. If our minds are wired to go to any of the following but not limited to food, alcohol, drugs, unhealthy relationship to another person, porn, gambling, shopping, etc., than even though the spiritual bondage is broken our emotions will naturally remember where it went in the past to find the quick fix medication. So to heal the emotions we need to change the place we go to with pain. First we need to identify it instead of stuff it and detach from it. Then we need to literally take those feeling to God and ask Him for healing. There are two types of prayers. There is the prayer of blaming God and others for the pain. In this case we shouldn't expect and healing to occur, only more pain. But there is praying based off of truth, for example (God, I felt rejected by the way that ____ treated me. But God I know if you are for me, it doesn't matter who is against me. So I give you the situation, thank you for Your love in the matter and ask and thank you for your healing of my emotions. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, Amen). Walking in forgiveness, CONTINUAL forgiveness, rather than blame and rage is essential for healing of emotions.

After a while the triggers no longer become triggers towards the bondage but become triggers toward God. And that is when the bondage loses its emotional aspect.

There is freedom. There is Victory Over the Darkness (what a great title for a book).

Bible reading

It seems people like to have discussions on whether reading the Bible daily is important. The argument against it would be that since this is a relationship with God instead of a religion to read the Bible out of guilt or obligation turns Christianity back into a religion instead of a relationship. While I would understand and agree with that (Bible reading shouldn't be done to appease guilt or done out of duty), there are other reasons to read the Bible. In my opinion the Christian life needs to be one of victory - in thought, words, and actions. Since words and actions ultimately only project our thoughts to the world, the battle needs to ultimately be won in the mind. That is where the "should's" of guilt, the "what if's" of fear, the blame, shame, and other negative mindsets attack. The only cure to the lies that this culture, the enemy, and our own previous negative mindsets is the truth. And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. -John 8:32 (if I remember right). The interesting thing is the word know is the same word as the know used when talking about intercourse in the Bible. The truth and us need to literally become one. If the Bible is the very definition of truth than to omit reading it, will eventually wither and dry us from truth. And isn't that what John 15 is all about? Jesus is about ready to die and is with His disciples in the garden (of gethsemane?) with one last little bit of wisdom to impart. What does he talk about? The analogy of how fruit only grows on a tree as it stays connected to the tree. Branches on their own shrivel and die. "Apart from me you can do NOTHING." But yet why do sermons focus on doing good works. To try to conjur up good deeds on our own can often be quite hard, because it isn't natural. Fruit doesn't naturally grow on branches that aren't connected. But abiding in Christ it is far more natural because it is no longer us using God, but rather God using us. There is quite a difference. One of the main ways of connecting to the Lord by relationship is through reading the Bible with application to our lives. That application helps us to walk in truth, rather than the negative mindsets that destroy. Make sense?

PET Scan and update

I have my pet scan on Thursday to see if I am still cancer-free. So if you want to pray for me that would be nice. I also am just getting over being sick. I woke up Sunday morning to a fever, clogged sinuses, headache, etc. The only thing that's left is my sinuses aren't completly drained yet. So you could pray for that too.

Otherwise, life is good. I'm working a lot. Or at least it seems like it. I used to work 70+ hour weeks before cancer. Now 28 feels like a lot. Maybe it's just cuz I haven't worked in a LONG time.

I got to go ice skating on Saturday night so that was nice. That was the first time I had gone in at least four years. But I guess it's like riding a bike, you never forget how. It all came back to me right away, it seemed, so that was good.

The latest

It looks like I'll be off to college this spring (maybe Crown?). And I am actually working and am no longer a bum. So for December I'll be working a decent amount to pay for school. At one of my jobs I get paid to play Monopoly and watch movies with kids. This reminds me of someone I was just talking to that said you should think of what you would do for free and then find someone dumb enough to pay you to do it. What a great job...